Day Two

7am - Wakey wakey.

705am - I get a cup of coffee and turn TV on.

710am - Mom calls to see how everything's going, reminds me to make Vivi's hair look good.

8am - Breakfast. Kids eat all their French toast sticks, fruit cups, and milk. Isaac asks for hamburger.

830am - No time for baths. We have to get ready for ballet. Everyone gets dressed and I attempt Vivi's hair. The result is a sin against nature.

915-945am - Dance class. I'm the only dad among mothers and their daughters with pretty hair. I swear I can hear the angels in heaven weeping. I'm looking forward to taking the kids to Grandma's at 11am for lunch so I can prepare my guitar lessons for the day.

10am - Grandma wants kids for the night but can't feed them lunch. I hurry home to make hotdogs. While the kids eat, I'm unable to find suitcases or plastic grocery bags. So I put Vivi's clothes in her school backpack and Isaac's in one of Laurie's retired purses. Then I make another attempt on Vivi's hair. And somehow, it actually looks worse than before.

1115am - Running late for guitar lessons, I call Grandpa and tell him to meet me in the driveway. We scurry to make video on the way out the door.

5pm - Bacheloring it. Dinner consists of leftover cheese ravioli, jalapeno potato chips, and a bottle of Blue Moon. I miss Laurie.

505pm - Aftertaste from dinner is vile. I make a French Press of some Brazilian coffee. Somehow, my breath is worse.

510pm - Been home for ten minutes and the silence throughout the house is deafening. I miss the kids.

10pm - I've watched Meet the Parents, half of Death to Smoochy, and Hitchcock's Notorious. Now, do I finish Smoochy or move on to The Hustler, Rocky, or Platoon? Why can't I sleep when Laurie's out of the house?